Many Pirates in the Bay

I hope that person is smart enough to get it.

Stress Reduction

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

Look. It's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place.

What a pleasant surprise. You let them up... just for a quick breath... then ploop!...back under they go...

You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.

There now... feeling better?

Your Moma jokes in the toilet

Odd One Out

Q: Which is the odd one out - a refrigerator, a washing machine, a TV or a woman?

A: The TV because all the others leak when they're fucked!

Thanks Jassi paaji for this joke... lol.

Best Friend

Your best friend will help you move the body as well.

Sneaky Psychology

10 Signs Of Being In Love That Might Actually Be Symptoms Of Crippling Or Fatal Disease

1. Skippy heartbeat when you think of him/her.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: Tachycardia which may lead to ventricular fibrillation and myocardial infarction (heart attack)



2. Restless trembling of hands, feet and other body parts.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: Parkinson's Disease



3. Constant smiling.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: Bell's Palsy



4. Absent mindedness, forgetfulness, inability to focus on tasks at work or home.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: early onset Alzheimer's Disease



5. Frequent or constant sexual arousal.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: nymphomania



6. Weakening of knees and bursts of energy when he/she calls or comes over.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: multiple sclerosis



7. Inability to stop thinking about him/her.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: OCD



8. Bruising on neck, breasts and other tender areas.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: leukemia



9. Insomnia.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: benign prostatic hyperplasia



10. Feeling that you can smell/hear/feel him or her when not in his/her presence.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: schizophrenia